Pilar Sanders gives an in depth interview to "Basketball Wives L.A." former cast member Tonya Williams. She opens up about her ugly divorce with Deion, abuse and more. Part of the interview listed below.
Via TonyaYoungWilliams.Com:
Part 1: Domestic Violence with an Audience – PrimeTime Style The life of the professional athlete’s wife is seen as a fairy tale on the outside. For the elite professional sports couple, it’s an extravagant life filled with beautiful homes, luxury cars, designer clothing, fine dining and preferential treatment on a daily basis. Pilar Sanders lived this life style and because the man that proposed to her was the breadwinner, she has been labeled “gold-digger” as their marriage has deteriorated to the point of divorce. Pilar says, “I married Deion because I was so in love with him”.
Pilar Sanders is a native of Upstate New York and attended Syracuse University before accepting a modeling contract during her senior year of school. Soon thereafter she married Deion Sanders. Deion Sanders, also known as, Prime Time, is a Hall of Fame NFL football great had been previously married (he has two children from that marriage). Pilar and Deion have been married for 14 years and are now embroiled in a nasty divorce that is more outrageous and dramatic than their short lived reality show, Primetime Love.
Like any other woman, a woman who marries a professional athlete walks down the aisle filled with the hope that the vows spoken will be kept by both parties and the marriage will last “until death do us part”. Yet, unlike other women, the woman who marries a professional athlete enters a union that is stereotypically riddled with pending infidelity, narcissism, excesses in spending, partying, gambling and other reckless vices. The life is filled with “yes men”, groupies, scores of business associates and leaches also known as “my boys”. The busy, high-profile life of this athlete is filled with constant “people pleasing” outings including, games, charity events, corporate outings, and hundreds of red carpet appearances. Then, there is the social calendar that’s filled with weekend trips with “my boys”, clubbing until all hours of the morning with “my boys” and creating pie-in-the-sky business ventures that fail miserably.
I spoke with Pilar because she wanted to get her side of the story out – finally and completely. Whereas, Pilar believes that many journalists are fans of her husband, she trusted that I would approach this story fairly because of the similarities in our lives. I am also the estranged wife of a former professional athlete; I also experienced domestic violence; and I am also embroiled in a testy divorce. There are two sides to every story, you decide for yourself, who and what you believe. Pilar claims that Deion “was a good provider not a good father”. However, as of late she claims, he hasn’t been a good provider nor a good father. In fact, in their May 15th court appearance, the judge ordered Deion to pay child support in the sum of $10,500 and to pay $3500 for the mortgage of a home Pilar owns. This arrangement is temporary and will be further addressed in their next court appearance. Pilar’s divorce filings also claim that Deion has been an absentee father with very little interaction with his children prior to March 2012, unless it was sports related. Though she claims to be a very private person, she believes that Deion is receiving special treatment due to his celebrity status. She is only speaking now in response to the media blitz Deion has embarked upon to tarnish her reputation as a woman and as a mother. She says, “I’m not a perfect mom … my main focus is that my children are safe and they continue to be healthy and that they get over this emotionally unscathed as possible.”
As a celebrity spokesperson for the National Domestic Violence Hotline; as one who is often called upon to discuss domestic violence matters on television; and as a victim of domestic violence, I have become very learned in the this area. Domestic violence is emotional, psychological, physical, or sexual abuse of another that you call spouse, partner or family member. Domestic violence also includes financial control. All domestic violence is about power and control. Despite Pilar’s arrest, she claims that she is a victim of repeated domestic violence – physical, emotional, psychological and financial – at the hands of her estranged husband Deion.
Q: What information is in the media that you would like to address or correct?
A: That he (Deion) attacked me on the 23rd. I never attacked him. He choked me. It wasn’t the first time. He is a violent person. Anything that you see him say, my goodness, count it as a lie. I’m flabbergasted every time I see him do another media piece. Its sickening.”
Q: You’ve stated that Deion has abused you in the past. In what ways?
A: Many ways. Financially it started before Christmas and continues until today. He just stopped providing for the family. He cut credit cards. He cut financial support … No resources at all, whatsoever. Even when we’re still in the house, my daughter would beg for clothes, he wouldn’t buy her any clothes. It would come to a point where she would say, dad will you get me a sandwich from Subway and he would be like, no – that’s a five dollar sandwich. He would tell her go ask your mommy. What he would try to do was use every piece of leverage he could ever get a hold of and try to use against me and try to turn the children against me. So what he was telling the kids was that basically, if you stay with me I can provide for you, your mother doesn’t have money, you’re not going to be able to get clothes, you wont be able to get food, who knows what type of place you will be at, but here, you will have everything you need and want.
Q: The court gave you temporary custody of your daughter and gave him your sons. What’s the “father-daughter” relationship like?
A: There is no interaction with my daughter … She wanted to start dancing again. So I said “okay we will start dancing.” She asked her dad if he would pay for dance lessons or ballet shoes or tap shoes or anything at all and he refused. He would say no ask your mother. Knowing very well that he set up our family so that he would be the sole provider and that’s what he wanted. He got much pleasure out of seeing disappointment in my children’s eyes when they would ask how is mommy supposed to get this and that and you are not giving her any money.
Q: Has there been physical abuse from him in the past?
A: Yes, there has on more than one occasion. And he’s done it in front of people. He did it in front of two of our producers on our show, Primetime Love … It’s so idiotic and its funny and its not funny. During the shooting of it, I have a very light personality, with that, there were a lot of parts that were just naturally funny and it just kinda happened. So he called shooting down and he called a meeting with myself and two producers from Los Angeles and we went to our back room where the sitting area is – he said “there has to be a good cop and a bad cop and there is only one comedian here and the comedian is me.” I just started laughing and said, “Oh my God you are ridiculous” and I say, “I can’t help it if I’m funnier than you”. Then he leaped across the table and grabbed my neck and squeezed it to the point that I thought that he poked a hole in my trachea. The two producers didn’t know what to do. They couldn’t get him off of me. They couldn’t do anything so I started kicking him in his groin. That’s the only thing that got him off of me … There were other times when he grabbed me and ripped jewelry … When he was verbally abusive, I didn’t recognize it as abuse. I took his nasty behavior as his personality, I just thought he was a really mean jerk. He was just rude to people because he’s rude to a lot more people than me.
On the April 23rd ordeal:
“After Deion closed the door so I couldn’t see or talk to my son, he then opened it and jumped towards me in a taunting, frightening manner. I said, ‘what are you going to do?’ And he closes the door and I see him pushing (my son) into the closet area and closes that door. I cant see my son anymore and then he shuts the door on me. I call him a bitch. Then the door opens and he charges me like he’s running out of a tunnel on the football field – straight to my throat – completely off guard – drives and slams me into the glass double door by my neck. I’m kicking and scratching any where that I can get him off of my throat. I put my hand under his fingertips and I’m able to wiggle out of his choke. He picks me back up by my neck and throws me around … I’m screaming at the top of my lungs and now he’s rushing me into the bedroom – off of my feet – solely by my neck. He pulled me around the sitting area, I can’t breathe anymore … I grab the elbow of the statue with one arm and try to grab the double doors while he still has me. It’s very heavy, and I’m tipping it. With whatever bit of breathe and strength I have, I’m giving it all I got because I don’t have many more ‘gots’ left. He grabs the statue. I look at him like ‘you gotta be kidding me’ and I just cover my head and close my eyes and boom, boom, boom. He’s just hitting me with the statue and with his hands. He wasn’t doing a Superfly Snuka (the famous wrestler) over my head with the statue, he was just tipping, tipping it on my head … He lies and says he didn’t hit me or choke me and this is why I’m sitting here with a broken arm and a smashed thumb with a pin in it.”
*Deion Sanders denies any physical abuse towards his estranged wife and is unaware of the incidents she cites. He also asserts that he has always wanted the prenuptial agreement to stand, thus he did not offer Pilar the assets, excluding the house, and custody of the children. Deion’s representatives have stressed that he loves his children equally and prides himself on being a good father.
Side Note: Pilar's account seems to ring a bit true. Yet Deion denies any abuse. One thing is certain, something was hella off when Deioin hit twitter with the incident in question and used his sons in an very unhealthy way by tweeting a photo of them filling out police reports against their own Mother. Who in the hell does that to their kids??? Hopefully they can fully move on in their lives away from the drama and act like adults in the situation moving forward.
